We are all conscious of what people say about us. Our neighbors, friends, relatives, and officemates always has something about us. Here's a story about a neighbor who knows much more about you than what you expect...

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.

I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate other people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quite voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!”

"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches." Proverbs 22:1

One day, a guy calls up his Boss at home, but gets the bosses' wife instead. She said, “I’m sorry, but he died last week.”

The next day, the man calls up again and asks for his boss. She said, “I told you, he died last week.”

The third day, the guy calls up again and asks for his boss. The wife was mad and shouted, “Don’t you understand? I already told you twice—MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! Why do you keep on calling?”

 The guy laughed and said, “Because I just love hearing it…”

Sometimes people's way of thinking affects us. Here's a story depicting one, and I tell you, stay away from these people...

A story is told of an avid duck hunter who was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his discovery, the man wondered how he would break the news to his hunting friends, one of whom happens to be perennial pessimist. The hunter decided to invite him to go along with him to see the phenomenon for himself. The two hunters made their way to the field the next morning and waited. When a team of ducks flew nearby, they shouldered their guns and fired. The dog responded by running across the water and retrieving the bird. The hunter’s friend remained silent. He didn’t say a word about his amazing dog. On the drive home, the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my dog?” “I sure did,” responded the friend. “The problem with your dog is that he can’t swim, can he?”

Lying has been a lifestyle, from age to name, agendas and alibis, weight to height, even gender! However, sometimes we need to be extra careful... 

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. During the course of the evening. While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and Julie that met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates,”

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can’t find the beautiful silver spoon. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a silver spoon from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a silver spoon. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
John

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the silver spoon by now.

Love,
Mom

P.S. And oh by the way, the next time please, do not lie to your mother